For starters, while much of the religious right would have us believe thoughts and prayers are enough, we respectfully disagree. Yes, we are in favor of common sense gun control. But more than that, “thoughts and prayers” as a solution is based in both bad theology and bad psychology. It’s not that we disagree with praying for the survivors or the shooters. It’s that this approach does little to help us make sense of violence, for ourselves or our kids, and tells us even less about what to do about it.Read More
We can’t pause time anymore than we can rewind it. Buddhism teaches us that this moment has already passed. Mindfulness isn’t so much being in the “now” as it is recognizing that the now is fleeting and noticing what is happening to and around us. The best we can do as parents is notice and love our children in this moment, even (maybe especially) when it’s hard. And try to not worry too much about what might happen next. That’s the message of Bless This Mess. To be a good enough parent is to be good enough for the kid you have right now. Remember, for better and for worse, it’s fleeting.Read More
Helicopter parenting is so early 21st century, we’ve moved on to being snowplows: parents who clear their kids’ paths of any potential obstacles, paving a way straight to what we, or the media, or the other parents on the playground, or our in-laws define as “success.”Read More
The college admissions cheating scandal is particularly delicious because it is a chance to indulge a favorite national pastime: judging the rich and powerful (second only to our pastime of idolizing them).
Before we veer too far into thinking this behavior is confined to elite parents, ask yourself: have you never pulled a string for your kid? To get them a better teacher, a better doctor, a slot in that summer camp that was full? Show us a middle-to-upper-class parent who hasn’t, or a parent without the means to reach the string who wouldn’t pull it if they could.
This is a scandal over the crisis of the cost of college and the price to get there, be it in bribes or tuition or stressing our kids to the point of breaking them. It’s also a reflection of a crisis in parenting. Every one of us is vulnerable to the culture of competition that pulled these parents over the line from pulling a little string to breaking a moral code, and the law. And we all have a responsibility to help change that culture.Read More